Taking Umbridge
by rorywritesstuff
Summary: How Dumbledore rescued Umbridge from the centaurs. I imagine others have written about this, but this is how I pictured it going down.
The sun was low over the forest, the trees casting long shadows in which unknown things made their home, waiting for the night. Albus Dumbledore appeared in a flash of fire, disturbing countless creatures and leaving behind a smell of sulphur.

He looked so calm, so natural, in the forest that one might almost have thought that he did not know what dwelt there. But then he turned his head to the side and called to a young centaur foal, his mauve flank perfectly camouflaged among the deep purple moss, "I would have words with your leader. Would you please go and get him for me?"

The foal nodded and galloped away. Dumbledore stood for some time, scratching his nose or looking up at the stars, his reputation standing like an invisible shield between himself and the denizens of the woods.

The sun had set entirely by the time the golden centaur Magorian, at least 42 hands high, looking like some great, terrible statue, appeared on a ridge between two tall trees.

"Venus is especially lovely this evening," Dumbledore commented.

"Do not try and mollify me, Albus: we will not return the prisoner." Magorian's front left hoof stamped as he said this leaving a deep imprint in the soil.

"Then you will provoke a war," Dumbledore retorted, no threat or malice in his voice, "A war which I am afraid you will not win."

"We can defend ourselves against the efforts of a few paltry wizards."

"How about the entire Ministry of Magic?" Dumbledore queried. Magorian, his chin held high, raised an eyebrow. "It seems you don't know just whom you have taken captive. Allow me to enlighten you- your prisoner is none other than Dolores Jane Umbridge, undersecretary to the Minister of Magic himself."

"We take no heed of human titles." Magorian thumped a hand against his chest and the sound echoed throughout the clearing, "In this forest we are the lawmakers."

"If you wish that to remain the case, I suggest you give Ms. Umbridge before an official investigation and review of your rights is called. Besides," Dumbledore smiled wrily, "I imagine you are rather sick of her."

"This is not a joking matter." Magorian replied, his voice rising.

Dumbledore's face became deadly serious, "Who's joking?"

"She trespassed on our land. She called us animals. She attacked us!"

Dumbledore suddenly became aware of at least a dozen other centaurs, encircling him, hiding in the half-light, weapons drawn.

"If it were up to me alone, I would let you keep her and do as you would. But the Ministry will want their employee back and I'm afraid to say they will not be above violence in pursuit of her."

"We are not above violence ourselves!" Magorian called back, and several bowstrings tautened, arrows trembling with anticipation.

"Give her to me now, let me take her back to the human world, and no one need get hurt."

"Will she be punished for her misdemeanours?"

Dumbledore glanced down at the ground; his silence spoke volumes.

"Then I refuse." Magorian pawed at the ground again. And suddenly a great stamping of hooves began, the forest filling with the sound. "We will not be treated like beasts."

Even over the noise of furore of the centaurs stomping, and without raising his voice, Dumbledore could be heard to say, "I see you cannot be swayed from your conviction. I hope you are as strong as you think." He turned around and began to walk from the clearing, when he found his way blocked by a broad roan stallion, he said politely, "Excuse me."

In response, the centaur raised his great club.

"You would attack an unarmed man?" Dumbledore had the manner of a teacher disappointed in a favoured student.

"Where is your wand?" Magorian called from his position at the top of the hillock.

"I didn't bring it," Dumbledore replied calmly, still staring down the centaur poised to strike, "This is a diplomatic mission."

This set a murmur off throughout the heard- they had never seen a wizard without his wand before.

"And if we wish to take you prisoner too?"

"That is completely within your power. But, I hope, you are wise enough to know that _that_ would end even worse for you." Here, Dumbledore turned and smiled benevolently at Magorian. "As well as completely counterproductive: I have ever been an ally of all the creatures of the forest- I have always fought for your rights and recognition; I wouldn't come here unless I thought you were in danger. I have often given you counsel and received it in return. I see no reason for that to change now. I came here as a friend. Do not look for a reason to fight."

There was another round of muttering between the gathered centaurs. Magorian's eyes surveyed his followers gathered before him. Tentatively, the roan stallion lowered his weapon. Finally, Magorian clapped, "Bring the prisoner." Two centaurs sprinted off into the darkness. "We will relinquish her to you, Dumbledore, but be warned- wizardkind keeps encroaching on our way of life. We will stand it no longer. We give this woman back as a token of mercy. There will not be a second such token."

"Noted." Dumbledore said, still smiling.

The two centaurs, carrying a dirty, battered and shabby Umbridge between them, dumped her at Dumbledore's feet and then retreated. All of the other centaurs took this as their cue to melt back in the shadows.

Umbridge clutched at Dumbledore's hem, her fingers twisting in the fabric, "Oh, you won't believe what they did to me, those savages-"

Dumbledore pulled his cloak out of her grasp with such force that she fell to the floor, "Oh, shut up, woman."


End file.
